Lev Lazinskiy

Letting Go

update 6/3/2024: it took almost 5 more years before I finally let go. If this post resonates, if you’re in the same position, let go right now, I promise your life will be better in every single way.

Letting go is so hard to do sometimes, almost impossible it seems. I am not sure what it is, but Just cant kick the habit, every few weeks Ill relapse and then when the smoke has cleared and the house is empty once again I come to the realization that things will never change and I am the only one who has the power to break this vicious cycle. I am not sure why I cannot do it… “I don’t know.”

But I can no longer shift the blame to this other individual. They are a sociopath and my expectations are very low… I am the one to blame because I seem to enjoy the abuse, and heartache, and pain. I thrive off of it, I don’t like to sit around without any problems in my life. I seek and receive every negative emotion i can think of. And when I finally die of a heart attack or stomach ulcer from all the stress I will only have myself to blame for all of it.

I forgive you for what you have done, now I just need to forget about you and get you as far as I can out of my life. You are no good for me. I am not good for you, we are not meant to be together. There was a time that I thought we were soul mates, but if that is the case then God must have really given me a shitty hand.