Paranoia

| life | school |

Have you ever had that feeling when you are in the shower and you close your eyes to wash your hair that someone is standing right behind you, or just outside of the shower curtain? I remember I used to get that all the time. I always hated shower scenes in movies. Last night I woke up from a nightmare, and I felt so scared. I don’t remember what the dream was about, but I felt like someone was constantly behind me, and even thought I live on the 2nd floor I felt like someone kept on looking into my window.

I was paranoid as hell and it lasted all night. I have never felt like that before and it was scary. Medical school students suffer from a phenomenon that makes them hypochondriacs, where they believe that they are suffering from the world’s most crazy diseases. I think I may be suffering from a similar thing, with psychology. I have been studying abnormal psychology so much that It has invaded my thoughts and dreams, and I am displaying symptoms of various mental illnesses.

Either that, OR I really am going crazy. All the psychology teachers I ever knew were insane, maybe its a side effect of learning the subject. Perhaps I should switch my major.

The only good thing is, I really do understand how people who say they are hearing voices or feeling like someone is watching them feel. It is a shitty feeling, because aside from being scared, you feel helpless and hopeless. What can you possibly do without being ridiculed by your peers? Or looked down upon.

Thank you for reading! Share your thoughts with me on bluesky, mastodon, or via email.

Check out some more stuff to read down below.

Most popular posts this month

Recent Favorite Blog Posts

This is a collection of the last 8 posts that I bookmarked.

Articles from blogs I follow around the net

Occupation and Preoccupation

Here’s Jony Ive in his Stripe interview: What we make stands testament to who we are. What we make describes our values. It describes our preoccupations. It describes beautiful succinctly our preoccupation. I’d never really noticed the connection between th…

via Jim Nielsen’s Blog July 17, 2025

What do we do when the facts don't matter?

As a journalist by training, I have what you might call an addiction to facts. I believe that there are things that are true and things that are not, and that we can determine one from the other through observation, rational thought, and meticulous resear…

via The Torment Nexus July 17, 2025

Back to the Future

This past weekend, I decided to take a trip down memory lane and take a look at the evolution of this blog’s design over the years (with a little help from the Wayback Machine). While I’ve really enjoyed the challenge of making an obsessively backwards co…

via flower.codes July 17, 2025

Generated by openring