Lev Lazinskiy

Paranoia

Have you ever had that feeling when you are in the shower and you close your eyes to wash your hair that someone is standing right behind you, or just outside of the shower curtain? I remember I used to get that all the time. I always hated shower scenes in movies. Last night I woke up from a nightmare, and I felt so scared. I don’t remember what the dream was about, but I felt like someone was constantly behind me, and even thought I live on the 2nd floor I felt like someone kept on looking into my window.

I was paranoid as hell and it lasted all night. I have never felt like that before and it was scary. Medical school students suffer from a phenomenon that makes them hypochondriacs, where they believe that they are suffering from the world’s most crazy diseases. I think I may be suffering from a similar thing, with psychology. I have been studying abnormal psychology so much that It has invaded my thoughts and dreams, and I am displaying symptoms of various mental illnesses.

Either that, OR I really am going crazy. All the psychology teachers I ever knew were insane, maybe its a side effect of learning the subject. Perhaps I should switch my major.

The only good thing is, I really do understand how people who say they are hearing voices or feeling like someone is watching them feel. It is a shitty feeling, because aside from being scared, you feel helpless and hopeless. What can you possibly do without being ridiculed by your peers? Or looked down upon.