Lev Lazinskiy

The End or the Beginning?

The other day I registered for graduation and thought to myself, What in the hell am I supposed to do now? I always thought that graduating from college with a degree in some sort of field meant that you knew what you were going to do with your life, that you had a purpose, and that you were making forward progress in this rat race.

But the closer I get to the graduation date, the farther away my focus becomes. On a weekly basis I change my mind about what is next. A part of me wants to continue in this wonderful world of Psychology. Another part wants to stick to my original plan of going on to medical school. A third part wants to get another degree in Computer Science and follow my original passion (which I have had ever since my Mother brought home an old Win 3.1 computer which was essentially useless), a fourth part of me (which was possibly on drugs at the time) wants to become a nuclear engineer.

There are many other degree plans scattered around my living room, things as far fetched as nuclear physics, to things as simple as English. Who know’s what to pick?

The thing that really frustrates me, is that I realize that this is a decision that I need to make on my own. That no one can really show me what is best for me, no one can predict the future, and as I leap into the world of Post-Bac – I realize that it is a very scary place.

I have worked so hard to get to where I am today, and I am afraid that if I do not do something extravagant then I will lose my momentum - and begin a slow downward spiral in the opposite direction.

You have to love the terminal in order to appreciate the wonders of computer technology. I have made my choice, despite what I believe deep inside, I am doing this to secure my future, to secure my happiness, and to ensure that I am making forward progress, and not slumping into a hippie induced crack attack where I am living with my mother and eating ramen noodles while scrambling to make the payments on my overpriced Honda Civic.

For today - I am going to get a B.S. in Computer Science - Possibly specialize in Bioinformatics , or get a PhD in Computer Science Later on. Possibly work for the NSA - or maybe become a high school teacher.

Or maybe Ill just quit school and become the assistant manager at Jiffy Lube - Only time will tell.