Lev Lazinskiy

Tyson Corner Virgina

Three things happened last night while I was waiting on a friend at Tysons Corner mall in Virginia.

First, I was smoking outside when I saw this charming family walk by. The boy was around eight years old and he had an iPhone. I dont even have a iPhone, what the hell is going on. It gets better, his mother was wearing hooker boots.

A asian lady with this big ass shiny, red, fake leather bag was walking around the mall (Also wearing hooker boots) and her face was painted like a tiger.

Lastly, these three girls came up to me and asked “Do you have a Jack?” I replied. “What the hell is a jack?” They looked at me like I was crazy. After doing further research apparently they started calling ciggarettes Jack two years ago. Where have I been?

My writing professor has told me to define all of my terms in order to make sure that people clearly understand what I am trying to say. Therefore, when I say hooker boots I am referring to this…