Lev Lazinskiy

Big Ass Burger at Roaring Fork

File Under: Things I Learned the Hard Way.

Let me give you a bit of advice. If you are at a restaurant in Texas, and you see a menu item called “Big Ass Burger”. Do not, I repeat do not, attempt to test to see just how big it is. In addition, do not eat for 24 hours before hand, and do not order any additional appetizers, drinks or sides. Otherwise you will be like me and limp back to your hotel room in shame with a couple of pounds of Grade A beef in your stomach.

They say that everything is bigger in Texas, and when it comes to the portions at the Roaring Fork in downtown Austin they are not wrong. I walked over on my first night shortly after checking into my hotel. The table service had not started yet so I sat down at the bar, ordered a blood orange margarita, and a cup of Chicken Tortilla soup. It turns out that a cup is equal to about two bowls. The soup was so delicious that I didn’t complain. Then the burger arrived. It sat there on the plate taunting me. I cut it in half, to make it more manageable, but that only made it worse because I was able to see the true scope of the task ahead.

I made it half way through, and felt proud of myself. In hindsight, I should have given up at this point and walked away. Then I slowly made my way through the second half, began to consider some of my life choices, and as I took the last bite I looked at my plate and lamented the fact that an entire order of tasty looking long cut fries would go untouched this evening.

Like a college student after a night of binge drinking, I made an empty promise to myself the next morning that I would never eat another burger for as long as I live. Despite not being able to move for the next 12 hours, the food at the Roaring Fork was absolutely delicious. Especially considering that I was eating from the bar menu. I can only imagine that their proper dinner service is even better. I am glad I learned this hard lesson on my very first night in Austin because I made much more sensible dining choices for the rest of my time there.