Lev Lazinskiy

Toilet Paper

| writing | love |

Nobody ever told you that it was going to be easy to just stop. To stop caring, to stop feeling, to stop wanting to stop trying. Nobody ever told me that it was going to be this hard though either. They all give you this fake smile, and tell you that everything will be okay. They call them an asshole. They tell you, “you can do so much better”

Then you meet others, and you forget about the ones that hurt you in the past. They become nothing more than just distant memories. Hopefully, you only remember the good times that you shared together rather than all of the shit that you had to put up with while you were there with them. But then the others do the same thing that others have done to you in the past. They tell you that you are a great person. They tell you that anyone would be lucky to have you.They tell you how its not you, its them. But its all just a part of this fucking vicious cycle that we call love. This cycle that never ends. It consists of people shitting all over each others feelings.

There is no use trying to flush, the handle broke a long as time ago so stop trying. So as you wander through this shit covered world, it is hard to see anything beautiful. All your memories are tainted with the feces of the present, and all of your hope is tainted by the feces of the past.

It’s disgusting. The janitors went on strike. The immigrants were all deported and lord knows that Americans are far to good to clean up shit for a living. You see those commercials with the cute bears that are snuggling up to a fresh soft roll of toilet paper and you would do ANYTHING to get just one piece so you can clear the tiny window that allows for a crack of light to come into your room. The shred of light is your last hope in this world.

So as we wander through life, we think that we are looking for a soul mate. We think that we are looking for love. But we are mistaken. What we are looking for, is for someone with a roll of fucking toilet paper.

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